A medical researcher and mother struggled to secure assisted living for her aging parents as she juggled the demands of her own day-to-day life.
Dr. Williams, a medical researcher in Greater Boston, had a busy schedule and two adolescent children. Her parents lived a two-hour drive away in the town where she grew up. Her father had been the town doctor and her mother was socially active. But now her parents seemed unable to manage their house or their lives independently.
Dr. Williams' brother in California ordered groceries for his parents online and had them delivered. They also arranged for a gardener/handyman to help with the upkeep of the house. But it was not enough.
Dr. Williams' mother was becoming more disoriented and anxious, calling her five times a day for small reassurances or to repeat something they had discussed half an hour earlier.
A colleague suggested that Dr. Williams speak with Your Elder Experts before bringing her reluctant parents to look at local housing options.
Her father’s arthritis was more and more painful and he likely needed a hip replacement, which Dr. Williams knew would be disruptive and catastrophic. She was driving home to care for them weekly and neglecting her and her children’s lives.
Even though it broke her heart to think of moving her parents from their home, Dr. Williams realized it had to happen. The rural town where they lived had few options for the kind of medical care and support they needed. Finances were a concern, as the money would have to last to care for both parents or for the surviving spouse when one of her parents died.
How We Helped Find Senior Housing
Dr. Williams drew a circle on the map of her town and only considered the two senior housing options within a half mile of her house. A colleague suggested that she speak with Your Elder Experts before bringing her reluctant parents to look at the two options.
The Care Manager met with her and her parents at her home in the evening to accommodate her work schedule. She was able to assess Dr. Williams' parents’ frailty and get a sense of their finances. She then suggested two more appropriate senior housing options, still close by to Dr. Williams but with low-income programs so the couple would not have to move if their money ran out.
Dr. Williams and the Care Manager also strategized how to show the assisted living facilities to the parents, considering their frailty and the emotionality of the decision for everyone. Surprisingly, her parents agreed to a one-month respite stay at a facility that was less than a mile from where she worked.
Their adjustment has been relatively smooth and the phone calls have ceased. Dr. Williams is able to check in on her parents every day if she wishes and had the time to take her older son to look at colleges. Her parents attended her daughter’s chorus concert at the middle school and the family is looking forward to being together for Thanksgiving. Her parents are strongly considering making the move a permanent one.
If you or someone you care about is navigating the complexities of aging, Your Elder Experts can help.
